Haven't had this feeling since a long time ago. That feeling of wanting go blog about something because there's no one to say it to, and you just need to get it out of the system asap before it collapses into depression.

Just lost a friendship which I always thought would be a long-time friendship. Be it 10 years ago, 10 years later, or 30 years later, I always thought this friend, X, would be a close friend always. Over the past years, we've grown distant because of different schools, different work places, different social circles. But I always did think that if one day, I ever have a problem that I need to talk to someone about, and not able to find anyone, X would be the friend. But X told me we would never be close friends anymore. Does that mean all this while I've been living in the past, whereby we could speak about anything under the sun. Our thoughts, aspirations, philosophy towards life, politics, life in general, anything. I actually feel disappointed with myself that I never realised that the close bond had long been broken. I always thought it was always there, just being marred by other friendships which at times became more important. But perhaps, I should be more disappointed with myself for changes across the years. There are people who say I speak like a boss (probably a work-related syndrome) with friends, or that I jump to conclusion too fast, or that I criticise easily. But the most disappointing thing to me is that some of my closest friends don't tell me about the changes. I thought close friends are to help me improve and be my critiques. At least, I THOUGHT that's what close friends do. Oh well. I thought I thought. It's always I thought. So the new year resolution is to be 'What others think?"

Hopefully the year gets better. And if you so happen to read this, it'll be great if you can start giving me critique points.