Thinking too much 2

All right. I didn't have the urge to find The Letter, thankfully. At least I've spent the day fruitfully enough. But I've been spending the evening watching Bleach and now waiting for One Piece to load. Am also waiting for Bleach movie to load. And I realised there's 8 movies on One Piece. 8! So many! Yippee!

I think if I'm not too tired later, I'll continue with the letters. When I was going through the letters yesterday, I found some from friend X. I read through some and simply wonder why times change so fast. Those letters were dated about 5 years back. X wrote that a writer once said that sometimes being too honest with your feelings will result in friendships lost. Back then, I think I told X that if they were really great pals, such honesty should not render the friendship sour. I believed that both parties would rationalise and conclude that the friendship was more important. In recent years, I've come to understand what the writer meant. It is very true. Maybe being too honest isn't that good after all. Another of X's letter wrote that at some point of time, some people will start thinking that to initiate keeping contact with friends is not a good idea as they fear that the other party does not appreciate. Due to both parties thinking this way, a very strong friendship would then simply collapse. X said if both parties were optimistic, things would have been fine. Well well, I wonder if X still keeps to this belief. I guess not. It's hard to get X out nowadays.
Reading back some letters, I see how people attempt to sieve information from me. Ha. For instance, there was this guy who asked if I liked flowers, or rather, if i liked sunflowers. Can't remember what I replied but I would think I said most girls like flowers. And so I got a bouquet of sunflowers from this guy some time later.
I also come to discover how innocent 18-year-olds can be. Innocent in the sense, everything they say seem so pure. There was no sense of politics, fakeness, competitiveness, etc. Like kids nowadays who say what they really mean. There's no underlying motives. Such talk is hard to find these days. Even I myself, at many times, speak with underlying motives. Not necessarily bad, but I do feel guilty at times when I seemingly manipulate people. Can't believe I'm such an evil person sometimes. Perhaps this is why I no longer chit chat over the phone. I used to do that a lot until 1 or 2 years ago. Maybe 1 big reason was there wasn't much people to chat with anymore, with many getting attached and busy and overseas and working blah blah blah. Maybe I no longer find it interesting to just chat. Sometimes I feel as though there must be an objective to the conversation. Working in society for too long? Probably. There was 1 letter where an ex-chitchat pal wrote that his house phoneline was open on sat and sun, and even specified a time for me to call. Looks so funny to me now. And I find myself so dumb back then to always be the one to call. Waste my $ right. Ha... No wonder I can memorise everyone's numbers by heart. Thinking of which, I don't make calls these days mainly cuz like what X previously said. I fear the other party would not want to chat with me. So 2 people who want to chat end up not chatting with each other. Contradicting hor.
Humans just change so fast, really. Impermanence indeed.