Cries

I had a pet a few weeks ago. It was a little chick. Yes, chick as in the chick hatched from egg. When it first hatched from the egg, I wasn’t around to see it. Brother said it was all wet and slimey. And it didn’t look like he was about to dry up. A few days later it looked more alike a chick. For the first few days, I didn’t care much about it. In fact, I was rather annoyed with its chirping early in the morning while I was still in bed. That was when I was on leave. But as time went by, it was alike a pet. Some animal that you feed and play around with. It became the thing to look at each morning and before I turn in. and it became close enough that we soon were changing our lifestyle here and there for it. When it was asleep, we would tip toe and not make any noise in the kitchen which was where it slept. We even shifted the water flask into the living room! Just last week, we allowed it to roam freely in the living room, even though it did shit. We were hopeful of seeing it turn into a rooster and crow and fly.

Was just told that it has ‘entered ground’ by brother. In Chinese, that means ‘buried’. I knew it wasn’t feeling well these days, when it stopped running around and started eating less. I said it was falling sick or having lack of sleep. But I never expected to be dying. I started to feel very sad. I thought of this morning when it woke and I was the only one in the house. I was rushing and didn’t have the time to play with it. It climbed to the edge of its bed and stood there. I put it back near its food tray but it climbed to the edge again. It looked sad but I rushed off to work without even looking at it for a second. That was my last look at him. I recall the times that I may have caused his death. The times when I accidentally dropped him while teaching him how to fly. Or the times that I was too careless and dropped him while moving him. Maybe I sprained his ankles. Maybe his internals were hurt. Maybe I should have treated him more humanely. He’s barely a month’s old. And you know what, I’m actually crying over his death for the past half hour.

Life is just so unpredictable. Everyday, I’m working from morn till evening. If work ends early, maybe it’s some shopping or socializing or simply turning in early. It’s like counting a day after day. Am I going to work till I suddenly die? What about my parents? Am I filial to them? What if they suddenly die too and I never have a chance to be filial? What about my friends? Those who have helped me in one way or another? Have I expressed sufficient care and concern for them? Or will I regret when they suddenly disappear, like this chicken did?

Sobz.